Running nutrition illustration

What to eat after running?

Lots of us go running, go to the gym or have some sort of training workout these days in order to keep fit or loose weight. It’s recommended that after any form of exercise that you get something down your gullet within the first thirty minutes of finishing. But what to eat after running?

Different types of exercise usually have some sort of particular food associated with it. Doing weights and getting hench in the gym means glugging down an l-carnitine stuffed protein milkshake until you parp out blood or kick a hole in the changing room wall. Trail running means nibbling at some goji berry and organic cashew nut mix that you’ve had to wrestle from a squirrel’s paws. Middle class gym bunnies sit passively aggressively outside cafes whilst sipping an £6 wheatgrass cleansing smoothie and desperately sucking everything in. Cross fitters just drink their own urine whilst taking their obligatory selfie.

But just what can you eat after exercising to replenish all those burnt off calories? There’s everything from a simple banana to a whole ton of endurance recovery products that you can get. This latest illustration will let you in on the secret that what is the best food to eat after running. Those secret nutrition products in full:

Pork pie:

The old classic, a calorie stuffed favourite of endurance racers everywhere. It’s said that when Kilian Journet and Scott Jurek get back from a hard day of alpine running, the first thing they do is nip down to Skeltons Bakers and snaffle down a brace of tasty pork pies. Or if they’ve sold out already, they go hang round the hot counter at the Co-op 20 minutes before closing so they can get the discounted yellow sticker steak bakes.

Purple Sausage:

Also known as the Power Sausage, the purple protein pack boosts you back up to full strength with a salty blast of reconstituted unspecified animal protein, compressed trans-fats and none-too-stable sugars. You’ll be back on your feet in no time.

Tiny cow:

The miracle of modern science. Intense breeding programs have managed to compress all the energy and protein goodness of a full sized heifer. You’re getting all the benefits of a far-away cow, crammed into a small cow.

Anonymous Looking Vegetable:

What is it? Who knows! But it must be a superfood – it’s overpriced, fairly bland and pulps down nice in a smoothie.

Bottle o’ stuff:

If the Anonymous Looking Vegetable is a superfood, this is a superdrink. Slurping down this goblet of power juice will drive waves of replenishment throughout your limbs. Just like Popeye gets revived by the spinach, this electric piss will spring you into action and leave a mild aftertaste of burnt wall filler.

With these post-exercise nutrition options, you’ll be on the road to recovery in no time at all.*

*recovery not guaranteed.


Updated: - written by Ed Clews

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